mememakermes

when you have beer

and you put a tea bag in it so it looks like tea

ummmmm.....yeaaaahhhhh, if seahawks lose today and falcons win

that would be greaaaaaat

*chute

derp

hey, all y'all of my self-proclaimed most devout followers who drove yourselves deeper into debt buying expensive gifts, when some people don't have money for basic needs, who stuffed yourselves with your gourmet Christmas day meal when people are starving and spent thousands of dollars decorating your million dollar home when people are unsheltered

I just wanna say thanks for celebrating my birthday. Oh, and nice touch having a couple too many toddies and bringing back that decades-old family argument

"I ordered steak and prawns for dinner. Red wine goes with beef, white wine goes with seafood. I don't know which one to order. It's so confusing"---First world problems woman

false: it is not confusing. Order a glass of red and a glass of white. Take a sip of red after each bite of steak, a sip of white after each bite of prawn. Fellow diners may think this odd, but after six glasses of wine you won't give a shit.

my face when

my doctor examines my ears, and tells me no, unlike what my parents told me when I was a little kid and they'd be cleaning my ears, there are not carrots, potatoes, and peas growing in them

oh, so you still support trump? Don't worry, I won't put a lump of coal in your stocking

I'm going to take a big, huge, shit in it!

ah the sweet sound of silence, because the seahawks got their asses kicked today

which means no fucking idiots setting off fireworks that sound like goddamn artillery!

Das ist falsch .

my face and hair when

I DON'T WIN TIME MAGAZINE'S PERSON OF THE YEAR

my face when

I DON'T WIN TIME MAGAZINE'S PERSON OF THE YEAR and a group representing women that are victims of sexual abuse by powerful men does.