Everyone's asleep / showtime
A Vengeance Dad post.
They ate my yoghurt. I said nothing. Now every item in the fridge has their name on it and a use by date from 2019. They haven't eaten in three days. The car behind beeped at me for not going on amber. I said nothing. I simply drove at exactly 29 miles an hour for the next eleven miles, with my indicator on. A colleague took credit for my slides. I said nothing. Five minutes before the board meeting I sent him the "final version", every font in Comic Sans, with one slide of my holiday in Wales. My son said my jokes weren't funny. I said nothing. At his wedding I gave a forty minute speech of nothing but dad jokes, with a PowerPoint, and a second PowerPoint. **Why it caught on:** an old studio family portrait puts the father's huge face beside his smiling wife and children, a double exposure effect popular at the time. The family surely had a lovely afternoon, but Dad's glasses and moustache sit at the exact angle of a man who never forgets, and everyone has a grudge they've planned in that much detail.