The Count Meme Generator
ONE unread email. TWO unread emails. Back from a week off: 1,284 unread emails. Ah ah ah. Thunder rolls outside. It's only Monday.
You count the days until payday. Then you count what's left in your account and divide it by the days. It comes to £3.12 a day. You count the tins in the cupboard. There are four, and one is chickpeas.
Third reminder from the dentist. Fourth time you've said you'll start the diet on Monday. Seventh tab open with the same recipe in it. Some numbers only ever go up.
Why it caught on: Count von Count, Sesame Street's Bela Lugosi-style vampire who lives to count, has been ending every number with thunder and a delighted "ah ah ah" since the 1970s, and the internet hands him its smallest tragedies to count.